Every year at my birthday I get very reflecty and have a near meltdown about getting older because I fear change.  On birthday-eve I cry (mostly to myself in the last few years, seeing as how dignity is a thing) and think about how I’ll never be that age again.  This year seems like a big one because it’s 30 and that sounds like a grown up age to be.  I am concerned occasionally that I am not a proper adult because I don’t have a spouse or children or a house or a dog or much travel experience or an IRA or a finance guy I talk to.  Instead I have thousands of Lego bricks, quite a few of which are currently on display in my bedroom for no one to see, all the Harry Potter books and movies (dvd and iTunes), and a consistently low bank account due to triathlon participation.

I guess pretty much everyone has thoughts about getting older, but I think it’s important for the people who read this and love me most to know that even though I don’t have the appearance of a normal adult I have still tried to learn things and have grown up approximately 30 years worth growing.

Things I’ve learned in 30 years:

Nothing.  I do stupid things every day so really, there is no growing up, there is only continually recognizing how dumb you are and then eventually getting to the point where it doesn’t bother you as much to be eternally stupid and then having a party and getting buzzed* with all your friends and talking about how important Harry Potter is for human development.

Things I’ve recognized in myself over the last 30 years:

*I dislike drunkenness.  Thankfully, my immediate social bubble has been mostly filled with semi-like-minded people who don’t appreciate drunkenness much either and we can all get along.  But, it’s not drunkenness in other people that bothers me so much, its just that I personally hate to feel “drunk.”  Really, I think I have been drunk once in my 30 years so I’m not exactly an authority on the subject but the point is that it’s the worst feeling ever and I hate it and get it away from me.

I love running.  I love the friends I’ve made while running, or because of running.  I love running on trails because it reminds me of playing in sagebrush and lava rock strewn fields behind Grandpa Paul’s house, I love running speed workouts on a track because it’s hard and burns and reminds me of high school when getting a PR felt like the only benchmark of my existence as a human, and I love 20 mile runs and getting blisters on my hips from a water belt and complaining to Staci about how I’m old and slow then bragging to someone later that day about  having run 20 miles that morning.  I LOVE races because they are pure joy.  A finish line is never anti-climactic.  A 5k in Davenport, Washington finish line has the same sense of accomplishment as an Ironman in Coeur d’Alene.  I can say that because I’ve done both and this is my blog so I do what I want.

Having a job that is interesting with co-workers I like most of the time and boss I’d follow anywhere are extremely important to me.  You can’t have a boss that’s dumber than you, it just doesn’t work.  I love puzzles, and my job is kind of like doing a puzzle every day.  It’s the sort of thing where the “worst” files are also the most hilarious and interesting stories to tell after the fact.  Plus, title insurance jokes are the best.  And the other day I became a notary public but don’t ask me to notarize anything for you unless it’s me granting you an easement to visit me in my personal space.  …but that’s probably a conflict of interest sooooo, yeah.

Some other things I’ve recognized in 30 years include: Tina fey is YES, Star Wars is the best, Harry Potter is better, wearing jeans to work every day gets old and dressing up is fun, things get awkward, say yes to life and staying in more, my family is amazeballs (all of them), my sister is my non-romantic soulmate, the world is full of it but sometimes good things happen, reading is important, shutting up is kind of more important so people don’t know you’re actually a dummy, an Ironman is worth it, TV isn’t the worst thing ever invented… ugh, there are too many things.

So far, 30 is the best because 20 and 10 were pretty great too.  Thanks for being my friend!


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